At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
