Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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