And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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