i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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