at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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