I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
