i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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