i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
