did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
