dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
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The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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