Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
