what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
