A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
