11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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