somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
