also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
