And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I have post one night stand depression
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize