no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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