I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
