I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
