guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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