all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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