Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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