before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
