Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
