she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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