handjob tips. give me some.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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