You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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