she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
