What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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