Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
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we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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