Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
