Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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