And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
