So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
