apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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