Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
