How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
