Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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