on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
