Who wears a wallet chain?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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