She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
