We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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