she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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