they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
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he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch