Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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(703): View more from Virginia

You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.

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(785): View more from Kansas

This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

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(417): View more from Missouri

I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.

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(317): View more from Indiana

We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward

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(419): View more from Ohio

Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos

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(631): View more from New York

And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars

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