I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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