i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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