I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm always down for nudity.
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