I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
