He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
