i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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