he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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