If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
