she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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