we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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