holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
