I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
