She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
