I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My butt remains clenched, sir.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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