I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
