I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
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She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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