sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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